(I would just say that I think that my title is super clever, although it has absolutely nothing with this post. I mean hey, it’s a total trending topic right now, so why not milk it? hahah)
I’ve been here for a month and a half now, but it feels like so much has happened. Time has stood still every other second here and I am so grateful to God for it. Maybe it has to do with having more volunteers (there are 5 of us) and that makes for more occasions where people drag you to do something that initially seemed unattractive, but later turns out to be poignant events. Of course I have those moments of nervousness and insecurity where I feel like my “life” is moving on without me, and people are moving on without me, yet, as I look back, God has done it again–He gave me Cameroon to grow and organize things that I could only do when on a break.
So many fun events. From walking down the street and getting responses from a hello, such as “Hey baby girl” or “That’s my girl!”, to the occasional “ni hao”, to which i reply “I’M KOREAN”. To Helen, the receptionist, playing with the needle in front of the girl in the clinic that was shaking with fear. Haggling the prices of produce, and one lady telling me a lime was 50 francs, and I telling her it was too expensive. “Ok Ok, I’ll give you 2 for 100 francs”. I replied, “Hey! You’re making it sound like a deal but it’s not!” I couldn’t say it without laughing and she laughed too. (Let me just say that haggling is ADDICTIVE. I love doing it hahaha. Joon Kim would be so proud of me. I’m becoming a bonefide ajumma). Using idioms and big words that Arnoldo doesn’t know, while he uses the “hip, new” slang that all the young people are using these days. And Megan making fun of all my asian tendencies, whilst trying to lose weight together. Trying to talk to the people in an African accent while I take their histories and ultimately giving up. And finally practicing the 4 years of French that I thought I would never find an occasion for. The babies either loving me because I look weird to them, or crying because I’m pale. Trixy’s (the host doctor’s) random, crude comments about penises during circumcisions. Also, I got pricked with a needle and had an HIV scare (no worries, we rushed the woman and did a HIV test on her and she was negative). I also almost got my face cut with a machete….although, that thankfully did not happen either. OH, not to mention we almost burned the entire hospital down…we left a candle and part of our room caught on fire…we smothered the flames luckily, seeing that a can of bug spray and the curtains were so close to catching on fire.
This trip has most definitely restored everything that I felt that medical school sucked out of me–my extroverted-ness, the chance to serve others, the feeler part of me. It’s so crazy, and I’m even afraid to write in words what I’ve learned here in part because I fear that my words can’t convey what has happened, so I won’t. I’m not sure what this blog post will be about, so I’m just going to write and write and que sera sera.
To be honest, I don’t know what to write. Take me out for a meal and let’s talk, that will be better, I think. But let me write this:
I have missed out on so many opportunities to witness that it can be overwhelming. Something that I never really understood that I’m beginning to now, is what it means to be a responsible Christian. In every situation, ESPECIALLY those when I want to pull out my “get out of jail free” card and get a cop out, I’m an ambassador. I think one of the most tragic things that comes with age is that nothing is as it seems. Nothing is as shiny, so beautiful, so attractive as they used to be. You turn it over and there is always some defect, some mess-up. Maybe that’s why everyone has a chance to be saved–because when you realize that the world isn’t as it seems, the cross is so attractive and the call and pull to follow from Christ is made. Salvation is offered in that way, something that is so opposite from this world and everything bad that’s in it.
I hope that I never lose this though. I always want to view the world with wonder and excitement. I never want to so absolutely know everything that nothing is new and exciting to me anymore. Let me revel in my tendency as a feeler, to be totally entranced by God and His workings in the world each and every single day, even when this next year will be in front of pathology & physiology notes. May C.S Lewis’ claim that “[his] image of Christ is shattered every single day” be my own.
Also, I have the best family. I think each mission trip, I realize this. My parents are the most devout Christians that I have ever met, and it’s so crazy to see how they still progress and grow as Christians. I can’t wait until we’re all together again. God really does give you family to feel unconditionally love–a slice of what God feels for us–how fortunate I am to experience that to it’s intended purpose in my life now.
Well, that’s pretty much it for me. Thanks for taking the time to read this 🙂 Next post, I’ll post a picture with my African dress. (It’s being made as I’m writing this)
I hope this post is finding you all well.
Much love from this side of the world everyone ❤