So today, the electricity in my apartment was suddenly disconnected. I got a call from Noemi around noon telling me that the everything in the apartment wouldn’t turn on. Turns out that my deposit to Edison company never got through and they conveyed that message to me in a very strong way. So after dissecting the male perineum for ~2 hours, I headed to the office to get it all straightened out. Throughout the whole thing, I was thinking just what a waste of time it was, “I could be studying right now.” I have that excuse for everything thing I do now. Cooking, Eating, Pumping gas,writing e-mails, and even the most minute things like checking the mail. Everything seems like a waste of time if it doesn’t mean me, sitting at a table, notes in front and pen in hand. Hm…just very interesting. It just seems like life now is studying, while everything else are just accessories to it. I’m glad to say that God has been my stronghold more and more these last few weeks, but what about everything else? It really does feel like studying is my oxygen.
I was telling this to Jeremy Lam today and in response he said, ” Yeah, that’s the thing, when you’re in medical school studying isn’t the first priority; it’s the first, second, and third.” This is so true. To simply say that medical school studies are your first priority is diluting its importance because it takes up a lot more than that. And I ask myself a lot, “Is this it? Is this life now? A few punctuated moments of joy and excitement, but in the background of a seemingly endless cycle of study.” Yeah, what scares me is that sometimes I wonder not if life will get better and more exciting, but if this is what life ACTUALLY is and everything was just “youthful naivety”. hahaha, oh well…this just convicts me more that I need to go to on my trip this summer for not only one month, but two (I want to be busy up until the day I start school).
BUT I MEAN, don’t get me wrong. In all honesty, there is no where else I would rather be. Events that happened to me this week made me realize this. It’s so crazy you guys, just how much people around you can be hurting and you don’t even know it. I have been so blessed to be where I am. I can’t complain about anything. Something that gets to me is that when I’m a doctor, I hope I never lose that disconnect between the rich and poor. As a doctor, I’m going to be in the top tier of society, but I never want to be so dulled with luxury and opulence that I forget the value of a dollar and the way people suffer to live. On Saturday I took a jog and when I came back I saw a women sleeping in her car. Then, I saw a teenager holding a joint. San Bernardino is such a colorful place to live, I feel like THIS is life, that’s why I like living here, in the “ghetto”. hahaha
Anyways, I should go back to studying now. On a bright note, on Wednesdays my M1 crew gathers at Alan’s house for lunch. It’s really nice, just a time to rewind and cook together. Legit, my class is awesome. Everyone is so cool, genuine, and very VERY kind. It’s really nice to get to know them outside of school. I’ll post a picture next time (I keep forgetting to take one). Also, ss a kind of hobby, I’ve been trying to grow plants. I think that my chrysanthemums are beyond redemption, but Greg told me that I could grow spring onions from ones that you buy at the grocery store, so I made this home for them today:
Root Lengths 2/26/2014:
Onion #1: 1.5 in.
Onion #2: .5 in.
Onion #3: .4 in.
I’ll keep y’all updated 😉