Reflections on Loneliness

Have you realized, yet, that the older you get, the more lonelier you become?

As for me, I’m beginning to see this play out throughout medical school. When I talk to people from AU, they will tell me that I sound lonely and blah blah blah. But then, usually, I don’t really understand what they are talking because yes, I am more alone, but I’m so busy that there’s no time to process stuff. And besides, because I study around people or am in lectures around others, it usually keeps me feeling like I got my social fix for the day.

Yet, because it’s test week and I haven’t been going to classes for like the past week and a half, I’m starting to feel the singularity (funny I say this when Jeremy is sitting right in front of me). It’s not an all consuming loneliness, but I get sad, not because I’m lonely, but because I wonder if this will follow me for the rest of my life. I would like to see that people around me, people that are older, that are all more social and enjoying life because then it will give me something to look forward to and I can live vicariously through them. But because I look around at my friends and others that are around me and see that they too seem lonely, I get sad.

I need to make life exciting for myself. I’m a firm believer in the fact that you have the power to change your situation!!! I can start with the fact that Jeremy is sitting right in front of me, and so, obviously, I am not alone. 😀

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Thanks, friend…even though you look scary here… (omg…I hope Jeremy doesn’t see this. I think he’ll kill me for posting this picture)

As for a tangent, Note to all future medical students: If you want really gauge what medical school is going to be like, think about your MCAT study days. It’s just like that…every single day. BUT the good thing is that the material is pretty interesting and you feel really smart when you find out that you can hold so much stuff in your brain!

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